There have been many layers to my healing journey with Covid, but one of the things that stands out the most as a critical part of my healing has been my understanding of breath and energy. I have so much gratitude for this gift and believe that had I not had this knowledge that has been passed down to me from my amazing teachers Minke de Vos and Wendy Lang at Empty Mountain Institute I would not have healed as quickly from the state that I was in. It’s important for me to give appreciation to the Taoist lineage and my teachers for these ancient wisdoms and teachings.

My healing from Covid has been a retrospect of my touch with death. I look back now at the feverish episodes when I was in the fullness of the illness and they seem now like they were initiations into the journey I was about to embark upon. A dying and a rebirthing…. Part of my writing of my Covid journey is not only for others but also to make record of some of the experiences that I can already feel are slipping away in my memory. As I re-enter my regular life I wish to hold and remember some of the awarenesses that were transformative for me in someway or another.

One of the hardest things to look at during my Covid convalescing was my worthiness around resting. There was a lot of resistance, a LOT. And until I looked at this I knew it would impede my recovery and my body was in desperation of rest. This piece is deeply ingrained in me and continues to be a work in progress.…

One of the things that has been revealed to me with more clarity through my Covid convalescing journey is how uncomfortable it is for a lot of us to be truly present with where we are in dark times. To be authentic and in acceptance of what is happening in this exact now if it is not perfect and happy. Being deeply sick and completely bedridden with my regular life stripped away from me was devastating. Each day waking up in a heavy fog of depression and depletion, I would wish and will myself to be better. A full rejection of what is, and I realized how draining this was to my system. Like the inauthenticity of trying to be something I wasn’t, could actually be killing me more than the sickness itself. When I finally let go to embrace the fullness of sickness and despair, it was so profoundly healing for me. Now I express this as if it’s in the past, but it’s still a work in progress.....

The process of this virus for me has been one of dying over and over again. The first, the physical dying. My body being taken to that edge and now having to rebirth my body in a new way. Recognizing the fragile nature of my human body. In the beginning, sleep was the only cure. Like resting in the womb of your mother. No cares and concerns, just being. A deep darkness but also a safety.

I went on a very unexpected journey this past month. Only two months ago I marveled at how good life was feeling. My gratitude list never ending… Then my father went into the hospital. He’s sort of alright now but it was definitely a little shake up and we’re still feeling the ripple effects of that and the inevitable aging parent life stress. Had barely gotten my footing and shortly thereafter I contracted COVID-19.

Pilates is a mind body exercise. Movers may not feel sore the next day because Pilates works deeper and more internal muscles. Inner strength for outer mobility.

Until recently, Newtonian laws of physics and nature from a few hundred years ago have been our model for our mechanical view of the world. As this view has emphasized the world as solid and unchanging, so have we responded in our daily lives with a linear and structured way of being. The deeper human experience and what it really means to be alive has been lost.

Living in balance & harmony with nature and the seasons is one of the things we aspire to from a Chinese Medicine/Taoist philosophy perspective. Summer is the most yang of all seasons and is ruled by the heart/fire element.